Well...it's been a week or so and I've been slacking on the updates but I'm here now to let y'all know that running long distances is probably not the best idea I've ever had. A part of me died the day of my first half marathon. That part of me was from the waste down. (Not a joke.) I left ... Read More about The Day I Didn’t Walk or Defecate Myself
So I've been meaning to post this, but just haven't yet....probably due to the fact that I was dreading re-living this day. It's now two weeks later, and I've recovered. Enjoy. So today I experienced what I believe to be the first of MANY weird sacrifices I will most likely make for my daughter. ... Read More about When Preschool Mama’s Attack
(Disclaimer: I do NOT in any way, shape, or form condone the act of stalking. This may be a true story, but I am of sound mind and body, and am posting this for pure comedic purposes. Oh, and I apologize for the length of this post. Not cool, but it had to be done.) I've been blasted with requests ... Read More about I Stalk Because I Care
Alright, so this whole motherhood thing is definitely the weirdest point thus far in my life. You always hear how great being a mom is. Tiring, but great. And yes. It really is. But nobody gives details on what really goes on behind the scenes, if you will. There’s no instruction manual that pops ... Read More about Um, Can Someone Quickly Tell Me How to Raise a Human Being?
Have you ever seen a pajama-clad, narcotic, delirious, angry, terrified, AND pregnant chick holding a loaded shot gun, a cell phone squeezed tightly between her shoulder and ear, convulsing uncontrollably? Well, if you had been a fly on the wall at the Funston residence on Dec. 16th around 2:30am ... Read More about I Was Almost Raped and Killed by a Dead Phone Line