Burritos for Dummies

So the husband and I had multiple errands to run today, and like two very lazy health-conscious people, we decided to stop to get some fast food gourmet burritos at Teezy Beezy. (i.e. Taco Bell)

What made this trip to the Beezy extra special was the husband went through the drive through carried-out our food so that we could drive to a random deserted lot little spot he happened to drive by carefully picked out to park and eat in the car for a picnic.

Here’s a quick snapshot of our special lunch.

I know what you are thinking…

He’s so romantic.

Anyway, I digress from the original point of this story, which is a conversation we had on our romantic lunch that I feel compelled to share with you.

B: Nothing makes me more angry than when people don’t eat their burritos properly. You must employ the squeeze technique for it to work.

Me: The what technique?

B: Squeeze. You squeeze the shiz to the top, so it is all evenly distributed. This is the downfall of most people. Everything gets pushed to the bottom and then the ass blows out of the burrito. Then what do you have?

Me: An ass-blown burrito?

B: An ass-blown burrito.

He then proceeded to explain to me the intricate process of proper burrito eating. Which is when I decided to share those steps with you fine people, so that you too can enjoy non-ass-blown burritos.

You’re welcome.

  • Step 1:
  • Choose your sauce. Fire is the choice of sauce in our household. Lather that fiery sauce on for an extra scrumptious taste bud explosion.

  • Step 2:
  • After the initial bite is taken, please take note of the pre-ass blow out. The insides make it thicker towards the middle to bottom of what is remaining of the burrito. This, my friends is not okay. Which is why the “squeeze” technique is so important. Without the squeeze, continuing to eat leads to ass-blown burritos. Please reference next step…

  • Step 3:
  • SQUEEZE!

  • Step 4:
  • Reapply sauce as needed and continue Steps 1-4 until burrito is finished.

    *Note:
    If you are able to create what is only called by my husband often called a “boat,” this is ideal for sauce filling on the final bite. Please reference the photo below.

    At the end of the burrito eating, your burrito should look similar to the picture below. A successful eat session of non-ass-blown burritos.

    Like I said before… you’re welcome for this.

    As I am only the portal through which this fantastic information is able to reach the masses, all credit for proper burrito eating must be given to my husband. No burrito or fire sauces were injured or ass-blown in this process.

    Posted in cooking | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

    A Day That Has Gone Down in Infamy

    Today.

    April 27th.

    It’s a day that has held some of the most significant events in history:

  • 1810 – Beethoven composes his famous piano piece, Für Elise.
  • 2005 – The superjumbo jet aircraft Airbus A380 makes its first flight from Toulouse, France.
  • 1992 – Betty Boothroyd becomes the first woman to be elected Speaker of the British House of Commons in its 700-year history.
  • 2011 – The deadliest day of the 2011 Super Outbreak, the largest tornado outbreak in United States history. There were 322 tornadic deaths, plus 24 non-tornadic; the deadliest tornado outbreak in the U.S. since the 1936 Tupelo-Gainesville tornado outbreak. (I actually know a lot of people who were affected directly by this, and am praying they & their families have recovered.)
  •  

    However, there is one important event left off this Wikipedia list.

    My birthday.

    Twenty nine years ago to the day, I graced Planet Earth with my presence. #YouAreWelcome

    And today, twenty nine years later, I celebrated by spending the day in a crowded walk-in medical clinic doing two things. The first, reading and checking every single 576 quadrillion birthday wall posts my 1008 Facebook friends wished me. (#FeelTheLove #My1008ClosestFriendsRockTheHouse) The second thing I did was wait for some-way-past-retirement-aged doctor to tell me he doesn’t understand why, first of all, I have poison ivy past the age of seven, and secondly, why my original medicinal measures of scratching like a flea-infested cat did not work.

    So I was lucky enough to receive a shot of something strong stuck in my butt.

    This “something strong” may or may not be having side effects that include visions of a stoic stallion singing Justin Bieber in church and myself turning into a narcoleptic chinchilla who’s temper rivaled that of a mama honey badger protecting her young.

    Yes, it is like that.

    Happy Birthday to me!

    Posted in Reasons I'll Need Therapy | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

    They Call Me Prefontaine

    Because you care less… Here’s a brief update on the ‘ole running deal… Thanks to Sara for the inspiration to steal write this quick post. I kind of want to be her when it comes to running. ;-)

    Miles for the Year: 210 … or there about… But who really cares anyway? Nobody besides myself would. And lets be real – I don’t really care how many total for the year either. But I can tell you this handy number because DailyMile.Com keeps track of it for me. And therefore – you’re welcome for this fabulous number update. ;-)

    Blister Count: Six. In the same two spots. All within a month of each other. Is that a hint I need to go shoe shopping? Let’s just say my feet look like they belong to Shrek’s cousin who suffers from leprosy of their foot shingles really pretty these days.

    Chased by: Four dogs. This little Weiner Dog being one of them. Another is my little neighbor dog, who just wanted to go on a little jog with me. The others? A black Lab and his compadre: Cujo’s Great Dane cousin who almost ate my head off. Luckily, he knew better than to mess with me or the electric fence separating us. I’m known to pull out bazookas….

    Speed: Non-existent.

    Workout Gear: I am yet to get any new stuff this year. Which is complete and utter B.S.. My non-shopping estrogen levels are about maxed out, so the hubs and bank account need to beware.

    Races this Year? Well, the G’town Half is done. I have a few 10K’s, plus another half or two in mind within the next couple months. I just need to convince the hubs that traveling outside of Memphis is a fun way to race as well. He’s a little too cheap, lazy, busy to travel much.

    (Oh yeah… and I’ve decided to run a full marathon this year… shhh… don’t tell anyone yet.)

    This is my Prefontaine pose.... I held this position for a while, trying to get the perfect shot. And if you look carefully enough, I ALMOST look fast...

    Posted in Fitness, Running | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

    Easter vs National No Pants Day

    Our Easter weekend rocked the house.

    (Seriously – why wouldn’t it have? I had a FOUR day weekend! Hey-Oh!!)

    It rocked for multiple reasons. First of all, as I discussed last year, it was a great weekend because of the importance of the ultimate Creepster’s rise from the dead. (#SuperCreepy) On Friday, I informed you fine folk on why Good Friday is indeed, a good friday. And I have also discussed in the past, how and why my knowledge of these facts gets me whatever I want. (#ItPaysToHaveFriendsInHeavenlyPlaces #RecommendMakingFriendsWithTheBigGuy)

    Sheesh…. based on everyone I know posted above, maybe I should have gone to seminary school? I’m just a wealth of Jesus-ey facts. (#TotallyHumble) Here, I’ll prove it… Did you know that Nazareth used to be a tiny, little village out in the boondocks of Israel? So obviously, we can use deductive reasoning to conclude that Jesus had to have suffered from some sort of a honkey-tonk, backwoods accent. Boom. There’s some Jesus knowledge at it’s finest. I’m willing to bet my pastor doesn’t know THAT, now does he?? ;-) (Just kidding… sort of… okay, not really… I kind of like to picture Jesus with a kickin’ hillbilly accent.) Seminary school regularly accepts lovers of the F-word, don’t they? I think I may have found my calling… ;-)

    Anyway… all of these prior posts of mine show why Easter is probably one of the creepiest coolest holidays around. Minus, of course, National No Pants Day. (Because let’s be real – wearing no pants is cool.)

    Luckily for all of us, Jesus allowed the Easter Bunny to completely commercialize the holiday and stuff our children full of chocolate and rather disgusting sugar coated marshmallows we call “peeps.”

    Here are some fun photos of my commercialized bunny and egg-hunt loving Easter holiday. :-) And I loved every moment of it.

    (If you click on the photo, you can see a bigger version. I know you’re just DYING to see close-ups of my face…)

    Posted in God, photography | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

    A Very Good Friday Indeed

    Today is “Good Friday.”

    For most people that means an amazingly lazy day off of work.

    (Okay – that’s exactly what it means to me too! #Guilty… And yes, I still use hashtags in my blogs. #GetOverIt)

    Today though, is more importantly the 2012-ish anniversary of the day my home-boy, Jesus, was crucified.

    Now… whether you’re a believer that Jesus was Christ or not… this event DID happen. Jesus was a person who lived approximately a gazillion years ago, and he was crucified.

    Non-believers, your issue with the J-Man is not relevant until Sunday… its only Friday right now. So keep reading…

    Have you ever read any details on what happened a gazillion years ago today? If not – here you go. It’s actually a pretty good story… especially if you’re a dude and into power struggles, blood, guts, and gore. (And ladies – don’t tell the guys, but there’s a love story mixed in there as well… shhhh!) Maybe just think of a way more old-timey version of Gladiator…

    Anyway – I digress.

    So here is a very short & sweet synopsis:

  • Jesus is found guilty by the Roman governor back in the day. (Of nothing, really… but the story line wouldn’t have a cool ending if He hadn’t been, right? The Screen Writer from this definitely knew what He was doing to make the climax really hit home. NOBODY saw the ending coming. Except maybe a prophet or two, but whatever… you get my point.)
  • A true criminal named Barabbas is released in His place. (Way to go, Governor… way to go.)
  • Jesus is mocked, beaten, ridiculed, and tortured. (See? Great dramatics right there…)
  • Then He is hung on a cross to die, with nails punctured through His hands and feet – while still awake and fully aware of the pain. (They didn’t have the humane methods of the death sentence back then that apparently we do today. Though Jesus did get a Last Supper of bread and wine, which is cool. #WineRocks #SoDoesBread #HopefullyHeHadSomeButterOrJamToo)
  • ;

    What confused me for the longest time was why today is call “GOOD Friday.” I don’t see anything “good” about our much loved protagonist being mocked and beaten. I also personally don’t know how He was able to take it. I’m not really the stand-back-and-let-people-belittle-and-hurt-me type. #MaybeThatsWhyImNotKing

    People walking by even made fun of him about His claim to rebuild the Temple in three days. (This ladies and gentlemen, is what you learned in 9th grade English class as “foreshadowing.” Take note.)

    You know what I would have done to those jokers? Rocked their little Roman, helmet-and-toga-clad world, that’s what… Maybe I would have pulled a bazooka out of my terry cloth and wasted them right then and there.

    Wait – bazookas weren’t invented yet, you say? Well, that’s the badass part of being the Son of God. I could have magician-ed that massive bazooka into my hands right out of thin air. (Or maybe turned my terry cloth into it… Picture it: Me. Naked. Carrying a terry cloth bazooka. Not that’s rockin’!)

    Or maybe I would have used more era-appropriate measures like a swarm of King Cobras or wild dogs to take them out at the knees and ankles.

    Or maybe I would have let all of what actually happened, happen… just like Jesus?

    No… never mind. I most assuredly would NOT have done it His way. We all know I’m not smart or creative enough to write the ending that did happen; where three days later, the Writer had Jesus rise from the dead. And now, all of mankind has the chances to live happily-ever-after…. for eternity. (The “ever-after” part there is quite literal.)

    Pretty sweet ending, huh?

    So yes – I do finally understand why today is called “GOOD Friday.”

    Psst! In case you’re still wondering… For lack of a better theological type of answer, it’s because today is the day that Christ purchased us with his blood that lead to His resurrection. It’s a holy day. A very good day indeed.

    Boom. In your face Roman soldiers!

    Make sure to check in with the sequel on Sunday. That’s when the really good stuff happens! ;-)

    Posted in God | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

    Domestic Housewife in Training

    So these days, you would most definitely not think I was your run of the mill, domestic, housewife. For real. I’m rocking and rolling in the domesticity department.

    Check it.

    Housewife Habit #1: Baking. MK and I bake together now. After all, housewives bake, right?? We’ll grab those yummy, almost completely pre-mixed boxes of muffin batter and go to town in the kitchen. Licking fingers, bowls, spoons, and muffin tins the whole time. (Who said we had to be sanitary while doing it?) Oh yeah – AND we make them vegan to adhere to our lunatic lifestyle. So what if the recipe calls for milk and eggs? I just toss in a little extra water in place, and voila! Housewife baking at it’s laziest finest.

    Housewife Habit #2: Gardening. I sort of pride myself on our rehabilitating stellar backyard. Mother Nature I have landscaped furiously so that multitudes of spring flowers are in currently in bloom. I also have one time a very regular tendency to bring fresh flowers inside to enjoy while I vertically hold down the couch bake. I also have an herb garden that my husband I use when cooking. What good wife doesn’t?

    Housewife Future Habit #3: Crafting. I pin a lot of things that I am going to do someday. And people will be are jealous.

    I know, I know… Can you believe it? My own family probably wouldn’t even recognize me. I have this sort of Martha Stewart aura about me.

    To top it off, all of these new habits are done with a 2 and a half year old pawned off on her father, friends, or any half-willing family member in tow every chance possible. After all, I need to raise her right; the way a proper southern mama would do.

    So, feel free to come on over anytime to check out the domesticity yourself. When you show up, I’ll probably have sweet tea brewed and an apple pie baking in the oven… or something like that.

    Posted in Cleaning, cooking, Life | Tagged , | 2 Comments

    Race Recap!

    I know, I know… you’ve just been dying to hear how my race went last weekend, haven’t you? (Rhetorical question…. no need to truly answer. I am pretty sure I don’t want to know the real answer to that! ;-) ) As mentioned prior, this past Sunday I ran in the Germantown Half Marathon. (Which by the way, was also the RRCA National Championship Half Marathon. How cool sounding is that? I’m going to start telling everyone I’ve competed in a National Championship. It IS during March Madness, after all… ;-) )

    So here is a brief run (pun intended!) down of how the race played out for me:

    Mile 1: Get out of my way people!! I’ve got a National Championship to WIN!
    Mile 3.5: Check the watch… averaging an 8:35 pace. Sweetness! I can totally keep this up! #TheyCallMePrefontaine
    Mile 5: (sucking wind) Okay, maybe not… (gasp! gasp!)
    Mile 5.5: OMG… this blows is so stupid much fun! Why did I decide to do this not do this sooner?? (gasp! gasp!)
    Mile 6: Britney Spears just came on my iPod. Ahhhhh, yeah…. she always pumps me up. Hopefully these people around me won’t mind my singing! “Now I’m (gasp! gasp!) STRONGER than (gasp! gasp!) yesterday…” (gasp! gasp!)
    Mile 6.5: Dude, kill me now I got this. Halfway! That’s it???
    Mile 7.5: Um, is that a person sprawled out across the road? Yes, yes it is. Hmmm… She definitely doesn’t look like she MEANT to lay down… Should I stop and help her up? …. (internal debate ensues) …. It would give me an excuse to stop running be a good Samaritan. Nah, there are tons of people helping her up. I would totally just get in the way. Besides, I’ve got a National Championship to win!
    Mile 8: Why is my husband on the side of the road still taking pictures? Doesn’t he know that I look best at the BEGINNING of the run? He’s so dead….
    Mile 9.5: (gasp! gasp!)
    Mile 10: SERIOUSLY? (gasp! gasp!) Three more still left? (gasp! gasp!)
    Mile 11: (gasp! gasp! gasp!) I… can’t…. go…. any…. more…. (gasp! gasp! gasp!) My… legs… hurt… (gasp! gasp! gasp!) ….. Ugh. I’m being such an annoying loser! Keep going and quit complaining!
    Mile 12: REALLY??? Who decided to put the last mile going UP a hill??? I’m going to have to have a word with these race directors…
    Mile 12.5: I think I just died internally.
    Mile 13.1: Holy Hell…. there go my legs.

    So there you have it. I finished it. I ran the whole time. I set a new PR. And my legs dissolved off of my body immediately after. #RockOn

    Below are some pics of the race for your enjoyment. And don’t play like you aren’t totally jealous of our “Team Run Big” shirts. They rocked. :-)

    Team "Run Big" prepped and pumped for the National Championship!


    This was right before Dale made us (unwillingly) go through a dynamic warmup. All I wanted to do was eat my breakfast, and he made me do shuffles instead... Ugh.


    Obviously, this was prior to mile 9.5


    I believe this was at mile 8, when I had to pretend to be happy for the camera, but internally I was cussing my husband. ;-)


    Dale running after MK


    Attack!


    Um, I wish somebody would have told me I'm an ugly runner! Haha! #HelloBadForm


    Lacey, Steph, & I sweating it up at the finish! What you can't see here is our legs disintegrated right off our bodies.


    Chillin' with MK after the race!


    My first coke/soda since last summer. One has never tasted so good!


    MK wanted me to race her after I finished....


    And it hurt worse than the actual race did!


    Apparently, my driveway is too hilly for me as well.

    Posted in Fitness, Running | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

    So this week, the Memphis Runner’s Track Club RoadRunner Journal went out in the mail to over 3600 people, and guess who had a short article posted in it?

    Oh yes…Yours Truly. :-) Below is the article, just for your viewing pleasure… Or non-pleasure… whatever the case may be for you. Because let’s be real – this isn’t really that interesting to anybody except me. But thank you for humoring me and my inner-wanna-be writer. :-) (Oh yeah, and I promise to post pics from the race this past weekend soon!)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Growing up, I was fortunate to be relatively athletic and played multiple sports and activities throughout high school and college. However, I had always considered running a form of cruel and unusual punishment from my coaches. I didn't decide to start running until 2008, when after having been in the work force a few years, I became tired of being tired. I was tired of feeling sluggish, non-athletic, and also not having any fun 'extracurricular activities' to entertain myself with in my off time. Co-workers and friends of mine were always raving about their 'extracurricular' interests, and I was wanting to be able to share my two cents pertaining to my life outside of work.  I was surrounded by friends and co-workers who were sewers, rock climbers, beer drinkers, corn-holers, cyclists, hunters, and pottery makers, among other things. Habits of mine included, but were not limited to the following:  

    1) Eating 2) Sleeping 3) Working 4) Wasting my life away on the inter-webs.

    Obviously, this grouping was, and is not, a very well rounded chain of events for someone each and every day. I came to the conclusion that I needed to add some other sort of activity in the mix. So, I started running.  If nothing else, I started just to get away from the television, computer, and endless Facebook'ing for a little while.  I figured if I needed a habit, why not make it a healthy one, right?  My creative and artistic skills have never been quite up to par, so I figured I’d skip out on the painting, sewing, etcetera that many of my friends were doing. I wanted to be able to do something and do it well, and I had hopes that running would fit the bill.

    Running was going to be it; my new past time. It would be something I could do by myself or with others. Plus, who knew - if I was dedicated and worked hard enough at it, maybe it would take me places (figuratively and literally) that I've never seen before. Ever since that hot and muggy July day, when I decided to start calling myself a "runner," I have made it a priority of mine. The first day, I ran a single (very slow) mile, only to agonizingly walk the last half mile home. Running has never been an easy activity for me, and to keep myself motivated, I try to run with friends and race as much as possible. Being a relatively competitive person, these tend to work for me. I've done everything from leisurely group runs, to racing 5K's and Half Marathons, and from road races to cross country trails. I have learned to love this activity that for so long, I deemed as a torturous form of abuse.

    Now, don't get me wrong… I'm not the runner who runs everyday just for the sheer love of running. I'm not the runner who will rearrange their entire day or weekly schedule to fit in their runs.  I'm not the runner who regularly places in the top three, ten, or even top twenty at races. 
    Yet, I am also not the runner who regularly places in the bottom three, ten, or twenty either.   

    I'm the one in the middle.

    The average, common, and very ordinary runner.

    I'm the runner who some days struggles to get off my rear and lace up the running shoes. On other days, I can't wait to hit the pavement.  I'm the runner who always has other faster and fitter runners speed past them in a race, but still loves that moment of rounding the corner to see the finish line. I'm the runner constantly having to push themselves to the finish line, to the end of the mile, or to the end of the interval, fighting the inner voice often telling them it's totally fine to slow down or even stop. I'm the runner that, at times, doesn't run because it is either too hot or too cold outside. I'm the runner who, sometimes, gives in to the pain of their run, but is also the one who is proud of themselves after any type of run. I'm the runner who loves the feeling after a hard, easy, long, or short run. The one who runs through frustration, joy, and anger.  The one who runs to stay in shape, to meet new people, and to have a sense of self-accomplishment. I'm the runner who works hard to not just run often, but also run well. I'm the runner who would love to finish in the top three, ten, or even twenty of a race. And I'm the runner who would love to make a difference with their running and be an inspiration to others.

    But more importantly than all that…

    I'm the runner who keeps on running because they have never regretted a run.

    Your average, common, and very ordinary runner.

    The average, common, and ordinary runner who is dedicated. Dedicated so much that they are no longer "average." So that any given run becomes more than "just a run," in whatever that might mean that day.

    So here's to all the other "average" runners out there.... May all your runs be not so average in your own right.

    Posted on by KFun | 3 Comments

    Run BIG!

    Okay, so by now (unless you’re a new reader of my bloggy blog… which if that is the case – WELCOME!), you probably know that I pretend I am a runner. I don’t often blog about running… okay, not really ever…

    Wait, okay… yes I do

    Whatever, I don’t know how often I do, but just know that I run more often than I blog. (Obviously.)

    Tomorrow marks my second “official” Half Marathon. Back in 2010, I ran my first half marathon in Atlanta and successfully did not crap myself. In 2011, one of my New Year’s “intentions” was to run in two more half marathons. Well, that particular intention ended up being pushed back 365 days slightly in order to accommodate for my laziness busy year, where I wasn’t able to get off the couch make time for training because I had to wash my hair or something important like that.

    Well, anyway… back to the moral of the story. I’m running in my second ever half (because I don’t go all the way) marathon tomorrow.

    This was right after the race and right before my legs disintegrated

    It should be interesting. At my last half, I think a part of me died. No really… that happened. I did not train the last couple months prior to that race. At. All. And it was bad. Then I had to ride home from Atlanta scrunched in the back seat for five hours. My legs literally fell off. But luckily for everyone (because who really wants to hear me bitch about not having legs forever?), they grew back eventually, all chameleon style. (Those are the lizards that grow back their tails, correct? If not, that comparison just lost all effect. Sorry about that.) However, this time I approached it differently. I’m actually not nervous or terrified about tomorrow, like I was last time. Just anxious and excited. It’s amazing what real training will do for you, because I actually trained for this one and prepared myself for it.

    But you know what? I’m not sure why I did. Because training sucks. I’d much rather just run one race and die afterward. I still don’t understand why people, myself included, put themselves through self-inflicted torture by running. I mean, really? WHY?

    I still can’t answer that.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love running. But I hate it all at the same time. It’s so weird. My relationship with running has morphed into a typical sibling love/hate type of relationship. It’s like I’m the older sister and running is my little brother, whom mom & dad made me babysit against my will. (And I was NOT a babysitter growing up. I hated little kids… Just saying.) Since the parental units are gone, I’m forced to do what little brother wants to do (which, just in case you haven’t picked up on the symbolism yet, is running). If I ignore little brother and don’t babysit, my parents won’t pay me my allowance (i.e. staying slim, getting to eat whatever I want, the satisfaction or completing something, etcetera. Hopefully, you’ve caught on by now…). But there are so many other things I want to do besides babysit little brother, like wasting my life away on Pinterest or Facebook. But I still love my little brother, ya know?

    So back to the original point. I trained for this one, dragged some friends on board with me once again, and am running 13.1 miles tomorrow morning.

    Side Note That Eventually Becomes Relevant: My friends and I, whenever we go out to the club or bars bible studies, we always try to “dance big.” This originally stemmed from an episode of Will & Grace I happened to see once, and has since taken on a life of it’s own. But that’s for another blog post if you’re lucky. So at some point in our training, we started running BIG… just like Will & Grace would be proud of. So we now have become “Team Run Big.”

    Insert Relevancy Here:
    So if you’re going to be at the Germantown Half Marathon tomorrow, make sure to watch out for myself and my running buddies. We’ll be the ones in the bright neon green shirts running BIG!

    #TeamRunBig #RockItOut #DontLetYourLegsFallOff

    Hopefully, I’ll have a re-cap for you asap!

    Posted in Fitness, Running | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

    Internet Magic

    Due to the fact that I am a computer dweeb genius (and just so happen work full time in the nerdy analytical, stalker SEO, computer geek HTML world), I like to see who comes to my blog and from where. Some of the most interesting people hop on over from our amazing internet friend, Google, by way of search terms. I think that, because I am such a random, backwards, inappropriate, versatile blogger, I get get some interesting keywords directing people to my little corner of the interwebs.

    I’ve shared this information with you all in the past, and because it was so interesting then, I wanted to share another update with you.

    Here are some of my top and/orfavorite search terms that brought people to my site since January 1st, where I’ve had a total of almost 3,000 unique visits. Not bad for being a bad blogger who ultimately sucks at blogging.

  • kardashian family
  • Ugh… that’s just annoying.

  • swamp people cast/swamp people
  • Hahaha! And this one is kind of funny.

  • cheering for chico
  • Hell, yeah! This one pumped me up! Check out my post on this and if you’re not already “Cheering for Chico,” you need to GET ON IT! ASAP!

    No really… go Cheer for Chico right now. This post will still be here when you’re done.

  • clothes for running
  • Yes. I do wear clothes while running.

  • running memphis
  • Yes. I do run in Memphis.

  • running pinterest
  • No. I am not the one running Pinterest. Though I do pin plenty of running on Pinterest. (Okay, okay… let’s be real. With over 720 pins, I pin plenty of anything on Pinterest. #obsessed)

  • do people really shit themselves in marathons
  • Why, yes… yes, they do. This girl, however, does not.

  • diary of kfun/kristin funston/kfun
  • Um, a little creepy that people just google my name. Well whatever, bring it on, creepsters!

    Wait a minute… Have you cheered for chico yet? No? WTH…

  • long toes
  • Alright people, so you post one disgusting picture of mutant toes and you get slapped with a google label. For the record, these are NOT my toes!

  • how healthy is a double quarter pounder
  • Extremely healthy, my high cholesterol’ed and artery clogged, friend. Keep on, munching….

  • in sales why do they tell u not to have facial hair
  • Hmmm, your guess is as good as mine. My question for you is, did you actually find the answer to your question on my blog? I think not.

  • memphis girls pics
  • Um… this could also have been a very creepy search. Gross… get off my blog, Creepster!

    So what is my most top visited post of all time??? Drum roll, please….

    God vs. The Kardashains.

    Of course. The dang Kardashians have taken over the world, so why not my blog too? I guess technically God did too, so that’s okay. But really? The Kardashians?

    Awesomeness. (Pause “not”).

    You’re welcome Kourtney, Kim, & Khloe for helping to solidify your world domination.

     

     

     

    Okay, now for real. Time to go cheer for chico!!!

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