Well, today marks what was my original due date for the baby that we lost last summer.
I’m not really sure why I felt the need to do a blog post about it today. Or even what I have to say about it, ya know? I guess maybe just to prove to myself and this lost baby that I haven’t forgotten? I don’t know…
I mean, it is what it is. Moms lose babies all the time due to miscarriage. So I don’t know why I felt the need to bring it up again.
I guess I just figured miscarriage was one of those things that “would never happen to me.”
But now I feel selfish for even re-hashing it again. Like, what makes my miscarriage that I lost more special than other moms? Why even bring it up again?
I probably shouldn’t think like that though. Every child, both born and unborn, is special.
I knew, even then, God had a bigger plan for that child… and for our family here on Earth. Even despite how much it hurt… and sometimes still does. And I’ve been soooo blessed since with another baby on the way – who is seemingly healthy too. This current pregnancy has helped me get over the miscarriage – sort of like an atonement baby, I guess. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about that child ever. Everyday, in fact.
Wondering what he/she would look like?
Would he/she be a good baby and sleep through the night early on or make mama get up at all hours of the night?
His/her birthstone would have been garnet.
He/she would have been a Capricorn and apparently very driven.
I guess this post is just to serve as a reminder for me? I don’t know.
Well, whatever it is…Happy Would-Be Birthday Baby Fun! 🙂 Can’t wait to see you someday!