A quick story for you…
My mom has a super generous habit of sending my kiddos care packages (i.e. stuff that ends up junking up my house 😉 Sorry, mom – but you’ll be happy to know the kids love it.) on every holiday throughout the year. This includes Valentine’s Day, Arbor Day, National Hoagie Day and Bathtub Party Day. (Okay, okay … a few of those were a stretch but you catch my drift. 😉 ) Halloween is no different.
This year, along with their Halloween card and goodies, she sent me a t-shirt. It’s blue with a squirrel silhouette and 2 Timothy 4:3-5 stamped at the bottom. Off the top of my head, I wasn’t sure what that verse said. My bible happened to be sitting close, so I opened up to 2 Timothy to read it:
“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” (ESV)
Thats cool, I thought. I could use a t-shirt that fits these days. (#pregnancyproblems) I set it aside and went about my day.
The next morning, I woke up and opened my Seamless bible study book, where I’m reading about Paul’s letters to Timothy. The last page of my homework focused on 2 Timothy.
Specifically on chapter 4, verses 3-5.
This verse showed up twice in the two days leading up to this blog’s relaunch. The days before I publicly showed the world how I’ve revamped my website, my writing goals, and how/what I communicate via the internet … ultimately, my whole ministry.
It has never once occurred to me to call what I do a “ministry,” because that word is for real Christians – the hardcore ones – pastors, bible teachers, and so on… You know, the Beth Moores, the Lysa Terkeursts, even the Joel Osteens (#notafan) of the world.
I’m just … well … just me.
I don’t have anything special to offer people that somebody else can’t. (Except maybe emotional support in the raising of honey badgers.)
And because I know what “just me” consists of – it feels weird. Self-promotion is so rampant in this world of selfies and likes and comments. Sure, I like attention and praise as much as the next person, but it’s weird, y’all. Especially as a Christian – someone who is supposed to go out and point others to Jesus … to Someone besides themselves. On Tuesday – launch day – I felt off, strange, weird, and well … sort of icky. (Yes, I just said “icky.” I’m a total mom.)
So often, it looks like self-promotion. And a lot of times (like this week), it can feel that way.
And I don’t want that.
Not at all.
(Besides, my selfies are always terrible. Absolutely terrible.)
But 2 Timothy literally says to “do the work of an evangelist.” I looked up evangelist, just to make sure I really did understand what it meant. And sure enough – it’s the PUBLIC preaching of God’s Truth with the goal of helping others into faith.
Everything I put on social media and online is so public – and it is right there, “Kristin Funston says…”
It looks like me. It’s in my voice. My picture is plastered all over it.
But it’s not me.
And I don’t want it to be.
Because I have nothing to offer of worth in this sea of selfies and likes and comments.
But Jesus does.
I can take a hint from my mom’s gifted shirt and Angie Smith’s Seamless teaching. So I’m going to endure these self-indulgent feelings (because yes – it’s suffering.), but I’ll stay sober-minded to do the work of an evangelist and fulfill my ministry. (Even if I still don’t know what squirrels have to do with anything.)
Because it is a ministry. But not my ministry – His.
As for my selfie’s? I’m praying He’ll be photobombing every one of them.