Martha Gets a Bad Rap (+ a BOOK giveaway!)

Have you ever read something that straight hits you in the gut? Where you’re like, “Oh crap… how does this writer know my life?!?” Yeah, me too. That’s what our church-y neighbors call conviction, friend.

A couple weeks ago, I was reading my friend, Becky’s, new book and her words spoke straight into my messy, rushed and mentally exhausting life. After I finished the book, I asked Becky if she minded coming over here to share with you some of what the book is about. And because she’s awesome, she said yes!

So below you’ll find a story Becky wrote for you and a glimpse into what her latest book, Generous Love: Discover the Joy of Living “Others First”, is all about.

Wait!!

Want to WIN YOUR OWN COPY of this book?

Make sure to read all the way to the bottom to read how to enter the giveaway.

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Martha Gets a Bad Rap

Becky Kopitzke

I’m a work-from-home mom. Generally that means on any given weekday, I’m, um, home. Working. And September through May, during the hours of 8:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., life is good. Life is GREAT. My kiddos are at school, and I’m at my desk with my computer and my Google calendar—which is like the sun around which revolves our little planet Kopitzke.

But. Those outskirt hours? Those Saturdays and summer months? Wow, do I struggle. And I’m telling you right now, it’s not my fault. It’s my children. In fact, I’m convinced they’re not actually children at all but sloths. I gave birth to sloths.

Sure, they pass for human beings, with their swishy ponytails and their full English sentences. But don’t let them fool you. These girls morph into slow-motion mammals as soon as you tell them to move.

“Get your shoes on, girls. We leave for karate in five minutes.” I rushed through the house, packing snacks and water bottles, smacking on a quick layer of lip gloss and searching for my phone.

Five minutes later, my children had not yet unglued their bottoms from the sofa.

“Girls! What did I say? It’s time to go to karate. Turn off the TV and put your shoes on.”

“I don’t want to go to karate today,” groaned the second-born creature. “I want to stay home.”

“Too bad. You love karate. We’re going. Put your shoes on.”

“Do we haaaaaave to go?” Big sister sprawled her legs across the sofa. I clenched my fists, closed my eyes, blew steam out my nostrils, and counted to five—for me, not for them.

“Girls, what is our family rule?”

“Obeyyyyy the firrrrrrst tiiiiiiiime.” If sloths could speak, I’m sure they could not drawl those words any slower. My children know this rule. Yet the space between knowing and doing is where I live and train and discipline—and sometimes drive myself straight up the wall, which wouldn’t be so bad if I had the sloth gene, too, and could hang upside down on the ceiling fan for a nice long nap.

How do I get through to these marsupials children?!

Mom is on a schedule! Get in the van or get run over, people!!!!!!!!

Hmmm.

Let’s replay the morning at sloth speed.

While I was watching the clock, trying to squeeze in one more chore or email before the last possible minute to get into the shower or else run late (again), my girls were seated at the kitchen table drawing flowers and dinosaurs. “Mommy, look at my picture!” “In a minute,” I said. “Mom is busy.”

When they ate their pancakes and asked for more, I answered five texts, switched two loads of laundry, and completely spaced the update that my kids were still hungry. “Mom, my pancake? You said I could have another one.” Oops.

And while I barked at them to brush their teeth and comb their hair, I stood half naked in the mirror still fixing my own hair and makeup, clearly not demonstrating punctuality by example. Perhaps I could’ve gotten ready ten minutes earlier so I’d have time to cherish their pretty reflections and tell them how beautiful God made them.

Do you see the problem here? I expect my children to enter my world—my fast-paced, clock-ticking, hamster-wheel existence. But I seldom bother to slow into theirs, to delight in their artwork or their silly songs, to answer their curiosity with more than half a brain of distracted attention in those moments when I have places to go and things to do.

And I suspect I’m not alone.

Do you do it, too?

This is not an issue exclusive to mothers. We can breeze past our spouses, friends, co-workers, neighbors, the lady on the sidewalk, or the gas station clerk. Every single one of us is shamefully prone to ignoring other people.

My daughters’ dawdling might be a matter of disobedience, yes. But maybe it’s also a digging in of sorts—a show of resistance against their mother’s crazy pace. And if that’s the case? I could learn a few things from my kids. Perhaps in the space between knowingand doing, I am just as disobedient as they are.

[clickToTweet tweet=”I could learn a few things from my kids. Perhaps in the space between knowing and doing, I am just as disobedient as they are. @BeckyKopitzke #GenerousLove” quote=”I could learn a few things from my kids. Perhaps in the space between knowing and doing, I am just as disobedient as they are. “]

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38–42)

Does anybody else read that story and feel a prickle run through your nerves? I mean, have a little mercy here, Jesus. Let’s go easy on poor Martha. Somebody has to feed the people, right?

However, when we really dig in to this passage, we see Martha’s problem was not the preparations. We all have chores to complete, deadlines to meet, and mouths to feed. That’s okay. God gives us work, and He wants us to do it well.

Martha’s real problem was that she was distracted.

Look at your to-do list right now. Is your trouble the stuff you have to do, or your attitude toward doing it? Would you rather be somewhere else, doing something else, serving someone else—or perhaps serving no one at all?

Are you freaking out about everything that’s expected of you and all the people demanding a piece of your energy? Is your to-do list causing you to get cranky with the souls around you—like Martha got cranky at Mary and Jesus?

Are you missing opportunities to bless people simply because you’re too wrapped up in yourself?

If you realized you had a choice, tell me what you’d pick. Tasks and distractions? Or living in the moment, soaking up what matters, and offering your presence to the people who need it, who crave it, who—God says—deserveit.

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. (Proverbs 3:27)

Yes, I know those Martha tasks need to get done. But we must contain them within the bigger picture—because Jesus says those tasks are not the most important thing. Our presenceis. His presence is. And how can we share it with others if we’re too busy to look them in the eye?

Let’s bless somebody with our presence today. And watch the world around us change.

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This post is an excerpt from Generous Love: Discover the Joy of Living “Others First” by Becky Kopitzke. Used by permission from Bethany House, division of Baker Publishing Group.

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Want to win a copy of this book?

Winner will be picked & contacted on Friday, April 13th!

THIS GIVEAWAY IS CLOSED

 

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Becky Kopitzke is an author, speaker, dreamer, believer, family cheerleader and recovering perfectionist. She lives in northeast Wisconsin with her husband of 16 years, their two elementary school-age daughters, and puppy named Prophet. On her devotional website, beckykopitzke.com, Becky offers weekly encouragement for fellow imperfect women in need of God’s outrageous grace. The story she shares today is from her newly released book, Generous Love: Discover the Joy of Living “Others First” from Baker Publishing. In this new book, Becky inspires us to make difference in today’s dark world by loving the people around us well. Through relatable stories, practical ideas, and careful application of God’s Word, Generous Love equips readers to break free from the shackles of self-absorption and discover how much sweeter life can be when we reach out to bless others with the unconditional love of Christ.