Tales From Icemageddon

I’m posting this roughly a week after the end of Icemageddon. And at the risk of allowing one to infer too much my selfish self, I may have needed all seven days to recover from the debacle in my home last week.

(Watch… because God has a sense of humor… or just likes to pick on me… this will post when ANOTHER Icemageddon hits Memphis. Just wait – it’ll happen.)

Hopefully, you read my post over at the {moms at hope} blog, which posted 2 days into a 9 day stretch of Ice Lockdown (this includes weekends). In that post, I wrote about balance, where I specifically said this:

“I think I can handle this balance… But it’s going to take work. It’s something I’m making an intentional effort in doing daily – to sometimes stop with the To-Do list and focus on what matters most, but know when that list needs to be finished so I can.”

Pish, posh.

I’m OVER the balance. And OVER making an intentional effort.

Give me my 3 page To-Do list. Give me laundry. Give me a stack of emails and bills. Give me four dogs to walk and bathe. Give me driving to school, to home, to the grocery store, to the cleaners, to home, to school, to Bible Study, and finally home again.

I’ll take it all.

Give me my normal back.

Because the shenanigans that happened in my home over a 9 day Ice Lockdown will wear a person down.

I’m sure those who follow me on social media came to the conclusion I am a terrible parent.

And they would be correct.

Because here is a highlight reel from our Icemageddon…

• Meda learned that “NO” can be the answer to everything. Except the offer to hold her – Every. Waking. Minute.
• Indoor tent building became an almost daily occurrence. However, this would become problematic when adults wished to relax on the couch. Destruction of a tent in order to sit down like a normal human being led to meltdowns of colossal proportions. But I am selfish and want to sit on my couch and not have my living room in shambles. *reference picture below
• There was painting. Oh, the painting. Watercolors are great… for older children. And for any person of the non-honey badger sort. I’ll let your imagination run wild. And what you are picturing… it totally happened.
• The kid movies and TV shows stayed on repeat. Bryant did suggest an oldie, but goodie at one point – The Lion King. The kids lost interest within 10 minutes (because let’s be real – nothing keeps their attention longer than that). I realized Bryant and I hit a week-long low when he asked for me to turn the volume up over the crying of children and I began cackling hysterically at “What, you want me coming out lookin’ like you? CACTUS BUTT?” We are so stuck in 1994.
• Coffee beans were used to “decorate” my bathroom. *reference picture below
• My eldest child gave herself tattoos out of boredom. #thuglifeforever *reference pictures below
• Furniture that is not supposed to be dismantled was dismantled. *reference picture below
• I turned on the vacuum for the sole reason to not listen to anymore crying and whining about stupid sh*t clean.
• My youngest child threw all her blocks on the floor right where I was vacuuming. Out of spite. *reference picture below
• My youngest child also learned about electric sockets. She decided she would practice plugging things in and out of wall outlets throughout the week. *reference picture below **no children were harmed
• A new game of De-Pants Mom was invented by my youngest, with the eldest quickly joining. De-pantsing happened while emptying the dishwasher, walking through the hall, pulling out breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That game was a lot of fun. <sarcasm> *NO picture to reference
• From the De-Pants Mom game emerged an entirely new one called Naked Kids Party where the rules require all children to strip down to nothing, bounce on furniture, and chant, “Look at my naked butt! Look at my naked butt!” *Again, NO picture to reference… though it was tempting.
• Meda enjoyed taking the Naked Kids Party game to a new level, where she would strip off her clothes and proceed to “decorate” select doors throughout our home with colored markers. *reference picture below.

I’ve said prayers to Mother Nature, repenting for all of the South’s sins… I’m just praying she forgives us for whatever monstrosity we’re guilty of and leaves the ice and snow to people up north – like the Canadians. (Sorry, my friendly, Northern neighbors – but you ask for it living that far north of the equator). 😉

My last statement in the {moms at hope} blog still stands…

“…if I’m going to be balancing {this thing called life} out, I’m really, really going to need Mother Nature to balance out the number of school days off in a row.“