Well…it’s been a week or so and I’ve been slacking on the updates but I’m here now to let y’all know that running long distances is probably not the best idea I’ve ever had.
A part of me died the day of my first half marathon. That part of me was from the waste down. (Not a joke.)
I left Atlanta with what felt like two broken knees, a sprained ankle and a bum hip. I swear I turned into an eighty six year old woman when I finally finished. (Real talk: Come to find out, I didn’t actually injure anything, but you sure as hell could have fooled me in the few post-race hours.)
Let’s start with a re-cap of my goals for this race. (You can always read my pre-race blog here too!) The race notes and reminders posted up on my metaphorical brain walls were as follows:
I know this isn’t a very lady-like topic, but this is the real deal and it needs to be discussed. Just in case you aren’t into endurance type sports – let me give you a heads up.
During endurance races, people WILLINGLY defecate and marinade in feces all the time. NO JOKE. They really do! And I, being the modest I-will-break-your-legs-if-you-so-much-as-THINK-of-beating-me type of person I am, was willing to lose if I needed to “drop a load.” I was actually okay with losing if this situation arose. I was NOT okay however, with being unsanitary during the race… I was already going to be sweaty and that’s gross enough.
So anyway. Task completed. No bodily waste left my body during those couple hours.
Mission accomplished. Can I get a “Whoop Whoop?” (whoop! whoop!)
Alright, I may have “slowed down” through two of the water/feed stations (yes, a “feed” station….like we were cattle or something. Oh, and I was herded into Corral G at the start. For real. We started in CORRALS. Like I said – cattle.), but I had done my mascara and makeup that morning and there was no way I planned on sloshing Gatorade all up my face while trying to imbibe the oh-so-needed drink and risk ruining what little bit I still had left on my face.
Some things are just not worth it.
Mission NOT accomplished. BOO! There were a bunch of peeps in my way or I TOTALLY would have done at least a cartwheel. I was, and still am, annoyed. Let’s not talk about it.
A few noteworthy items that I noticed during the whole race experience.
Overall, the whole experience was actually a super fun one, and despite all my nay-saying, I will definitely run in one again. Next time I just plan on training properly before. Because maybe then, I’ll be able to walk the week after.
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